Happiness is a Choice

That's my new mantra, happiness is a choice.
For as long as I can remember, my wish, whenever a wishing occasion occurred, has been to "be happy".
I think I've finally figured out that only I can make this happen, with actual work on my own mind. Brain thought patterns CAN be changed and mine is in need of a severe overall.
I've made a decision to step back from the incessant "parenting" that I've been doing. It's ok if the kids go to bed a little late or have candy bar pancakes for dinner once in awhile. I need to quit trying to be, and make them be "perfect". If I slack off on nagging them, maybe I'll have a better relationship with them and with myself. So, I'm trying.
Anyway, on to the happiness project

Day Three
Step One is to meditate.
For now, just concentrating on "happiness is a choice" seems to be opening my brain up to new possibilities and avenues of action. I'll try to fit in some actual meditation today as well.

Step Two is to identify 3 new things I'm grateful for:
a. I'm grateful that yesterdays overwhelming sadness has departed and I feel hope again
b. I'm grateful I have a husband who will listen to me and work with me to change things
c. I'm grateful to have people in my life who forgive me when I am not perfect

Step Three is to do one random act of kindness....
Haven't done this yet today but yesterday's was peanut butter toast. SS10 had baseball practice last night and was hungry afterward but also needed a shower and it was close to bedtime. He asked dh to make his toast but dh said no, probably because ss10 tends to laziness. I decided that ss10 would make it for me if the situation were reversed (he's really a pretty good kid) and so I made his toast instead of making him make it himself to teach him not to be lazy. Not every moment has to be a life lesson. Sometimes it's ok to just do something nice. 

Step Four is to journal about one good thing that happened.
I sent dh an email yesterday about some things that were bothering me and he called me at work and said "you always forget that I love you"

 Step Five is to exercise.
While waiting for baseball practice to be over, instead of sitting in the car, we walked for 30 minutes around the park. (yes I chose dinner over yoga but hey, we walked at least)