Hello Sadness My Old Friend

I was happy all weekend.
That's a minor miracle. I got a lot done and felt genuinely glad almost 100% of the time. Well, except for the part where my friend went missing from the recovery house she was staying in and I was praying she was just drunk and not dead (she was). Other than that, it was a great weekend.
This morning, I'm sad again.
This would have been my stepdad's birthday if he weren't dead. Maybe that's the trigger? Who knows..but I'm going to update here in the hopes that it will help. I didn't post all weekend because I was busy and I also like doing this in the privacy of my own office as opposed to the home computer.

Step One is to meditate.
I really suck at this! I tried this morning and just couldn't get there. I'd count a few breaths and then off to the races my mind would go. During Sunday's yoga I couldn't even relax during shavasana, in my defense however, this was during the time frame that my friend was missing so I think I should bonus points for even going to yoga at all.

Step Two is to identify 3 new things I'm grateful for:
a. The kids, I've wanted to be a mom most of adult life. This wasn't what I envisioned but I'm grateful 
    nonetheless
b. That my friend was just drunk, not dead
c. For hobbies that keep my brain busy

Step Three is to do one random act of kindness....
I took ss10 to the grocery store with me yesterday. He really wanted to go because he's decided to start taking his lunch and wanted to pick stuff out. He talked about Pokemon non-stop and made the grocery shopping take twice as long as it should have but I did it anyway. 


Step Four is to journal about one good thing that happened.
Lots of stress filled crap going on in the lives of several of my friends. Some of it pretty serious, one especially with a very rocky marriage. I did my best to lend a caring ear and not give "assvice" but just listen.
Also, I made sd5 a scarf and it's really pretty! I am not the world's best crocheter but this scarf turned out amazing. I'm making one for dh now. 

 Step Five is to exercise.
Walk Friday night, nothing Saturday, yoga on Sunday.
This is going to be an insanely busy week and we leave for Chicago Friday morning. I need to MAKE myself go to yoga tonight.